Is it a practice still today? And what is it?
I (HJ) can’t remember what mine looked like, yet I think it was something like this one.
from wikipedia
What is hope chest HJ?
A hope chest, also called dowry chest, cedar chest, trousseau chest or glory box is a piece of furniture traditionally used to collect items such as clothing and household linen, by unmarried young women in anticipation of married life.
The term “hope chest” or “cedar chest” is used in the midwest or south of the United States; in the United Kingdom, the term is “bottom drawer”; while both terms, and “glory box” are used by women in Australia.
(HJ) Funny how important it was when I was in my teens way back in the late 60’s early 70’s. It was something you did. I was so excited and when my brother started working for “Smart Time” I bought so much and paid it off in instalments.
So what is ‘Smart Time’?
Smart Time was a home selling company. Bit like Tupperware and Amway. They sold all the things you were “supposed” to have ready for your new home when you got married.
OMG there were floral purple and pink sheets, dark brown stone wear flower 8 person dinner set, and two magnificent cutlery set for 6 and 8. One I still have to this day. There were sets of towels, table clothes, and ………………….
So, you collect them as you get older? or is that given to you?
Yes you did. And yes, you were given things to add, especially after you got engaged in the lead up to the wedding. Everyone got so excited to help you build it up. It was almost a prestige thing. The more you had the “better” you would be as a wife and mother (shock horror)
I so loved embroidery and so made place mats, table runners, and decorated tables clothes for fancy stitching. Little did I know laid ahead.
So you made as you get older? That’s interesting!!
I love embroidery but I don’t think I grow up with such tradition.
I was so excited to set this up. I truly have no idea why. It was just something you did and it was excited to think you would one day, set up house. Funny now to think I was raised that the ultimate for any woman was to be a good wife and mother and what that meant and what was expected to reach that goal.
I think I was raised up with that notion too. “Be a good wife, and mother.”
My maternal grandmother was awarded for her motherhood. She taughted me that keep going regardless of my gender. Even though, my maternal grandfater was very gender oriented. Well, that was the culture.
Recently, my mum asked me again “Aren’t you worried that you don’t have a partner?”
My answer was “Thank you for asking. I am having a great life!!”
Yes, she didn’t know what to say next.
THERE IS A WARNING WITH THIS QUOTE. It’s explicit yet when I found it, it so spoke to me about the belief back in the 60’s and 70’s and probably still today. Definitely not by me. There might be a shock factor, yet I feel this is something we need to look at and be aware of. We as women, please, don’t be this kind of woman. This belief I believe leads men to think they have power over us to do as they want. This is not a healthy relationship.
You always had a good dinner set, an everyday day dinner set and a picnic set. It was the same with glasses, cutlery and table clothes etc. It was just what was expected and to be the best wife and mother you had to keep up the standard.
Sad to think you were judged by this standard.
In my or my parents’ culture, I think there were certainly rules to such custom, like what bride need to bring to the new family. Similarly, what gloom need to give to the bride-to-be. It is the preparation for the new departure for the couple yet it is about the ‘custom’.
Today with so many moving in together I must admit I haven’t seen this old tradition happening.
Well, I thought my family is not going through this custom anymore. Yet, it still existed. I was very shocked it still existed!!
I have realised such ‘custom’ when my brother married. It was about material wealth. It was about money. Even my generation doesn’t care, my parents cared.
Today I am a minimalist. I have odd pieces of crockery and I love it. I purchase one of two items that I love. I don’t have a good set, and every day set and a picnic set. I have one set with many pieces.
I see that as realistical.
Towels I have I’ve had for awhile now and they don’t match and the world didn’t come to an end.
Sheets match and well they do the job. It’s funny to think back to those times and how important it was.
Only when you question the ‘custom’ and why, you realise whether it ‘must be’ or ‘can be’.
These days, I question many used ‘custom’ and ask why we do certain things in certain way. What is the purpose? Why we do that?
In my culture, we have festival dishes. When I ask why we have certain dishes in certain time, it matches with the ‘tradition’. There were meaning behind it.
I guess, once I know the meaning behind each ‘custom’, I can choose whether it is necessary or not. It is still relevant in the modern life or not.
I guess I can only say I love how I live these days as I’ve lived through all that. I did enjoy setting up house for the first time with my husband and I’ve always enjoyed entertaining and sharing great times, food and wine with people. What I have realised is that at the end of the day those who are more concerned with you having a certain standard of crockery, cutlery, glassware etc are not the people I want in my life.
I love those you want to share their time, their food, the presence with me and others and these things are just that, things and it doesn’t really matter if they match or not.
Mismatch is fun.
In Conversation 